So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
