I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
