so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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