eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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