ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
be right there i have to get my cape
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
