Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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