am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
