I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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