You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
