i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
