Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
