shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
