I looked at my own cervix.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
