Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
