Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Found the puke drawer
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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