Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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