He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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