I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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