True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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