Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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