I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
smell my finger.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
