I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize