OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
