She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
