oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
