evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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