watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
