he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
