Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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