people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
