is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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