Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize