I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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