He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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