I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
