I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
