id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
