So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
