i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
