You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
