This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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