this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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