remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
