I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
