Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
