Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
