thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
