He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
