Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
