k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
