did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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