Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
