the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
