I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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