come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
