O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
