I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
