dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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