return my video game
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
