You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
