its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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