porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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