i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize