I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
