My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
