You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wish I could teleport
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
