apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
