I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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