I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Success! We fucked roommates!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
