STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
