she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
