Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
