Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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