I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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